I had no idea that such a thing was a common issue in modern office life. I asked if this was a widespread thing and I got about 150 responses, short stories on their experiences. Some of my favorites were:
@giantmongoose: Yep, it's ridiculous. A grown ass adult sees your slice of key lime pie and JUST FUCKING EATS IT. But I'm not bitter or anything.
@babymuncher (where do they think of these names???) My dad worked in a car factory and this one guy ate everyone's sandwiches every day. So everyone put motor oil on their sand which one day
@LeSeyne Hi. My name is Louie. Yesterday, I had a delicious ham-and-cheese called "mike".
It's funny, with the exception of a summer stint working at a law firm in Boston, I've never worked in a true office. To give you an idea of the work I've done, I've cut trees, been a bike messenger, worked as a political consultant ("Office" is a loose term on this one...), documentary film maker, photographer, and then the restaurant industry.
I had no idea that Lunch Bandits were one of the many trip-wires in the office world that I have never been a part of. I told my wife this weird factoid, and the result was hilarious.
"Oh my god," she started, "[name redacted] has eaten at least 5 of my lunches. I know it was him. I just could never catch him. Motherf***er." Keep in mind this was about 6-7 years ago. Granted, I still remember every asshole who ever bullied my in elementary school, so I suppose it's not that hard to believe.
It's so funny, these little things that we experience that stick in our memory. In the restaurant industry, because you are serving food, you really don't bring it in to work with you, unless of course you are a health nut in which case you are weird. Some places do family meals at the beginning of the shift, where chef throws together a meal based on what he has in stock and is the least expensive. In fact, that reminds me that I need to ask my Chef about it.
Overall, I'm not sure why I found this little phenomenon so entertaining. I watch The Office, and it's hard for me to believe that half of the hijinks that occur on that show really happen in real life. It's curious, the world that we live in.
For bartenders, it's really Tip Thieves that are the bane of a coworkers existence. Bartenders usually split tips when bartending behind the same bar, but I've caught a few of the people I've worked with pocketing tips from their friends so they don't have to share with their co-workers or tip out to their support staff.
Do you have a great little story about something like Lunch Bandit's that occurs only in your workplace? Post it in the comment section! I'm curious to hear what a strange world we live in.
Stay thirsty,
Eric
During my days working as a domestic engineer, I knew a little boy who used to filch his daddy's sodas then hide the empty cans under his bed. I will name no names, but you know who you are.
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