Saturday, April 18, 2015

Black Suits and Broken Eggs

I own only one black suit, and I hate it. It's not the suit's fault. It's a perfectly good black 3 button, fits me fine, and sits quietly in my closet while waiting for its use. I feel bad for this suit, but it only has one function. I only wear this suit to funerals. Unfortunately I had to wear this suit today.

But let's back up for a moment.

My new chef, Antonio, was working his first brunch with me last Sunday morning. Things were a bit shaky at first, much like all transitions. Our brunch menu is not terribly complicated but it is certainly labor intensive and people expect their food in a timely manner, so it was a bit difficult to get into a groove. Chef was plating a pork belly Benedict, which requires you to balance a poached egg on top of the meat and then put hollandaise on top. We had not yet gotten our immersion circulator, so he was poaching the eggs the old fashioned way.



He cracked an egg, and it was under cooked. He cracked another and it wouldn't balance. Leaning over the plate, the deafening silence that comes when you have hungry guests and no food leaving the kitchen dropped into the room like a sewage soaked blanket. I saw frustration begin to bubble into his face. Anger was right behind. Then he stopped.

He straightened up and looked up at me across the line, took a deep breath, smiled, and said "I'm not going to let an egg ruin my day."

I looked at him perplexed for a moment, and just started to laugh. As I did, he grabbed an egg, it cracked perfectly, and suddenly food was flying out the door. "That's a true Chef," I thought to myself. You see all of these silly Chef's on TV with hair trigger tempers, but when Antonio is in the kitchen he is smiles, laughs, and all business. His line is happy too cook with him. He really loves his food.

It's such a simple thought, really. There are so many things that deserve to ruin your day, so many bigger, uglier, dirtier fights that are to be had. There are so many bigger issues in my life and Chef's, and I beamed in admiration. And then there are eggs. There are little problems which will pass but can turn into something ugly if you allow it.

A week later I'm donning my black suit, tie, and vest, on the way to say goodbye to my friend's son. A hole the size of a continent had just been ripped through their family and there is nothing I can do but support them and crack a bad joke every now and again.

I sat in a hazy Ethiopian church today, a layer of incense hanging thick and sleepy, and listened as four priests melodically chanted as they prepared him for burial. I felt tears begin to well up in my eye, remembering the grinning young man who tried to duck out his bedroom window when I caught him at his parents house while they were on vacation. I remembered the way that his mother used to beam whenever she said his name and how proud his step-dad was of him going to college.

I suppose those are the moments that are important to let in. As I watched his mother collapse in grief, I let go of my personal wish to never have to hold another trembling body or watch a casket loaded into a hearse for a life extinguished far too soon. I would give anything to take their pain from them. There is nothing that I can do.

So today, I will do my best to remember that young man who was so loved by his friends and family. I will stand strong for my incredible friends who have helped me through some of the darkest times in my own life. I will bring them food and tell stories and crack jokes. I will, come hell or high water, go to work and do my best. I will sing, I will drink,  and I will cry.

But I will not let an egg ruin my day.

"Knowledge does not come in books, it comes in caskets." -Bane

Humbly yours,
The Bar Fight

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